Humble Beginnings

I have come to a crossroads in life.  I can continue to live the way that I always have or I can take a path completely foreign to me.  Continuing to live the way that I am has a pretty certain future.  I am overweight and am starting to see the effects this lifestyle has had on my body.  I am spiritually not where I am supposed to be.  This path is easy to traverse and is comfortable but it lacks the joy that I seek.  Plus the dangers associated with this path (although easy and familiar) are grave.  Both of these paths could possibly lead to an early death, both physical and spiritual.  With the current condition of the world and the fact that we know it will not get any better, I feel that I need to prepare myself both physically and spiritually for what lies ahead.  I need to prepare myself so that I can lead my family through any physical and spiritual hardships that may befall us with the ultimate goal of preparing my children to tackle the pressures of a world that is spiraling to a very dark and evil finish.

I have come across a scripture in the Book of Mormon on several different occasions that when read or heard pricks my heart inspiring change.  It is found in Alma 23:6-8.  A little background, the sons of Mosiah have been teaching the Lamanites, enduring hardships, resistance, and strife.  Finally a breakthrough and religious freedom is declared throughout all the land of the Lamanites.  As these sons of Mosiah spread the gospel to these people, thousands come to a knowledge of their savior and redeemer.  This is how the scripture reads:

(6) And as sure as the Lord liveth, so sure as many as believed, or as many as were brought to the knowledge of the truth, through the preaching of Ammon and his brethren, according to the spirit of revelation and of prophecy, and the power of God working miracles in them-yea, I say unto you, as the Lord liveth, as many of the Lamanites as believed in their preaching, and were converted unto the Lord, never did fall away.
(7) For they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God anymore, neither against any of their brethren.
(8) Now, these are they who were converted unto the Lord.

I have heard and I believe and long to never fall away.  Therefore, I declare that I am "laying down the weapons of my rebellion".  I am recommitting myself to the cause of truth.  In order to endure the constant and ever growing pressures of a world filled with evil, I need to engulf myself in the protection provided by a testimony and deep conversion to the gospel, that is being constantly nourished through prayer, study and faith.

My journey is not only spiritual but physical as well. I have been overweight my entire life. I only know the life of a fat person.  I have made the choice to take drastic measures to jump start my physical health.  I am in the process of preparing for gastric bypass surgery.  Though many view this process as "the easy way" I disagree.  When a person goes through this process, it forces them to essentially change their life.  While I am excited for the change, I have reservations as to what the future holds. What will life be like after surgery?  Will I have the discipline and self control to maintain a lifestyle that will allow me to lose the weight?  Many other questions and unknowns remain but I press forward with excitement.  I know that by getting healthy not only will I have more energy and focus to give my family, but also I will be better prepared to serve the Lord.

My purpose for this blog is to provide an avenue to express my feelings, celebrate my successes, vent my frustrations, declare my failures, and garner support.  I have found in my life that if I write/speak the feelings of my heart and the thoughts of my mind that I maintain a clearer vision of my world uncluttered by bottled up feelings and thoughts left undone.  I invite all to read this and join me on my quest.  Your comments, support, and love are greatly appreciated.